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Two and a Half Men

SeasonEpisode TitleAir DateAir TimeChannelCountry#Creds#Pics
1Pilot09/22/200310
1Big Flappy Bastards09/29/20034
1Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell10/06/20037
1If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap10/13/20036
The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump 10/20/2003
1Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?10/27/20036
If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake 11/03/2003
1Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful11/10/20036
1Phase One, Complete11/17/20035
1Merry Thanksgiving11/24/200310
1Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor12/15/20038
Camel Filters and Pheremones01/05/20048
Sara Like Puny Alan 01/12/2004
1I Can't Afford Hyenas02/02/20049
1Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick02/09/20047
1That Was Saliva, Alan02/16/20046
1Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats02/23/20048
1An Old Flame with a New Wick03/01/20047
1I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You03/22/20047
1Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark04/19/20048
1No Sniffing, No Wowing05/03/20046
1My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet05/10/20048
1Just Like Buffalo05/17/200410
1Can You Feel My Finger05/24/20048
2Back Off Mary Poppins09/20/20049
2Enjoy Those Garlic Balls09/27/20048
2A Bag Full of Jawea10/04/20047
2Go Get Mommy's Bra10/11/20045
2Bad News from the Clinic10/18/20046
2The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance10/25/20045
2A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana11/08/20047
2Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers11/15/20046
2Yes, Monsignor11/22/20046
2The Salmon Under My Sweater11/29/20045
2Last Chance to See Those Tattoos12/13/20047
2A Lung Full of Alan01/03/20054
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow 01/17/2005
2Those Big Pink Things with Coconut01/31/20059
2Smell the Umbrella Stand02/07/2005 5:30 pmTVLandUSA7
2Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?02/14/2005 6:00 pmTVLandUSA5
2Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!02/21/2005 6:30 pmTVLandUSA7
2It Was Mame, Mom03/07/2005 7:00 pmTVLandUSA8
2A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise03/21/2005 7:30 pmTVLandUSA4
2I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey04/18/2005 8:00 pmTVLandUSA8
2A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On05/02/2005 8:30 pmTVLandUSA6
2That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother05/09/2005 9:00 pmTVLandUSA10
2Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab05/16/2005 9:30 pmTVLandUSA5
Does Something Smell Funny to You 05/23/2005
3Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts09/19/200510:30 pmTVLandUSA5
3Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover09/26/200511:00 pmTVLandUSA7
3Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark10/03/200511:30 pmTVLandUSA7
3Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs10/10/200512:00 amTVLandUSA5
3We Called It Mr. Pinky10/17/200512:30 amTVLandUSA7
3Hi, Mr. Horned One10/24/20056
3Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop11/07/2005 1:00 amTVLandUSA8
3That Voodoo That I Do Do11/14/2005 1:30 amTVLandUSA5
3Madame and Her Special Friend11/21/2005 9:55 pmTVLandUSA6
3Something Salted and Twisted11/28/200510:30 pmTVLandUSA7
3Santa's Village of the Damned12/19/20055
3That Special Tug01/09/2006 1:00 amTVLandUSA6
3Humiliation Is a Visual Medium01/23/2006 1:30 amTVLandUSA6
3Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded02/06/2006 9:55 pmTVLandUSA6
3My Tongue Is Meat02/27/200610:30 pmTVLandUSA8
3Ergo, the Booty Call03/06/2006 1:00 amTVLandUSA9
3The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer03/13/20068
3The Spit-Covered Cobbler03/20/200610:00 pmTVLandUSA5
3Golly Moses, She's a Muffin04/10/200610:30 pmTVLandUSA7
3Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro04/24/2006 1:00 amTVLandUSA7
3And the Plot Moistens05/01/2006 1:30 amTVLandUSA6
3Just Once with Aunt Sophie05/08/200610:00 pmTVLandUSA3
3Arguments for the Quickie05/15/200610:30 pmTVLandUSA7
3That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite05/22/2006 1:00 amTVLandUSA7
4Working for Caligula09/18/2006 1:30 amTVLandUSA8
4Who's Vod Kanockers09/25/20065
4The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress10/02/200610:30 pmTVLandUSA10
4A Pot Smoking Monkey10/09/20067
4A Live Woman of Proven Fertility10/16/2006 1:30 amTVLandUSA6
4Apologies for the Frivolity10/23/2006 3:00 pmTVLandUSA7
4Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head10/30/2006 3:30 pmTVLandUSA6
4Release the Dogs11/13/2006 4:00 pmTVLandUSA10
4Corey's Been Dead for an Hour11/20/2006 4:30 pmTVLandUSA8
4Kissing Abraham Lincoln11/27/2006 5:00 pmTVLandUSA7
4Walnuts and Demerol12/11/200610
4Castrating Sheep in Montana01/08/2007 5:30 pmTVLandUSA7
4Don't Worry, Speed Racer01/22/2007 6:00 pmTVLandUSA9
4That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami02/05/2007 6:30 pmTVLandUSA5
4My Damn Stalker02/12/2007 7:00 pmTVLandUSA7
4Young People Have Phlegm Too02/19/2007 7:30 pmTVLandUSA7
4I Merely Slept with a Commie02/26/2007 8:00 pmTVLandUSA7
4It Never Rains in Hooterville03/19/2007 8:30 pmTVLandUSA4
4Smooth as a Ken Doll04/09/2007 9:00 pmTVLandUSA7
4Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot04/16/2007 9:30 pmTVLandUSA10
4Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous04/23/200710:00 pmTVLandUSA8
4Mr. McGlue's Feedbag04/30/200710:30 pmTVLandUSA7
4Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin05/07/20076
4Prostitutes and Gelato05/14/200711:30 pmTVLandUSA7
5Large Birds, Spiders and Mom09/24/200712:00 amTVLandUSA6
5Media Room Slash Dungeon10/01/200712:30 amTVLandUSA8
5Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo10/08/2007 1:00 amTVLandUSA4
5City of Great Racks10/15/2007 1:30 amTVLandUSA7
5Putting Swim Fins on a Cat10/22/2007 2:00 amTVLandUSA8
5Help Daddy Find His Toenail10/29/2007 2:30 amTVLandUSA7
5The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room11/05/20076
5Is There a Mrs. Waffles?11/12/20077
5Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids11/19/20077
5Kinda Like Necrophilia11/26/20075
5Meander to Your Dander03/17/20084
5A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh03/24/20087
5The Soil is Moist03/31/20087
5Winky-Dink Time04/14/20085
5Rough Night in Hump Junction04/21/20088
5Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty04/28/20088
5Fish in a Drawer05/05/200815
5If My Hole Could Talk05/12/20085
5Waiting for the Right Snapper05/19/20088
6Taterhead Is Our Love Child09/22/20089
6Pie Hole, Herb09/29/20088
6Damn You, Eggs Benedict10/06/20087
6The Flavin' and the Mavin'10/13/20086
A Jock Strap in Hell10/20/200851
6It's Always Nazi Week11/03/20087
6Best H.O. Money Can Buy11/10/20088
6Pinocchio's Mouth11/17/20084
6The Mooch at the Boo11/24/20086
6He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited12/08/20087
6The Devil's Lube12/15/20089
6Thank God for Scoliosis01/12/200912:30 amFoxUSA8
6I Think You Offended Don01/19/2009 1:00 amFoxUSA6
6David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie02/02/200912:30 amFoxUSA8
6I'd Like to Start with the Cat02/09/2009 1:00 amFoxUSA4
6She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime03/02/200912:30 amFoxUSA4
6The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?03/09/20095
6My Son's Enormous Head03/16/20096
6The Two Finger Rule03/30/2009 1:00 amFoxUSA7
6Hello, I am Alan Cousteau04/13/200912:30 amFoxUSA4
6Above Exalted Cyclops04/27/2009 3:00 amFoxUSA6
6Sir Lancelot's Litter Box05/04/20094
6Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth05/11/20094
6Baseball Was Better with Steroids05/18/20099
7818-jklpuzo09/21/20098
7Whipped Unto the Third Generation09/28/20096
7Mmm, Fish. Yum.10/05/20097
7Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator10/12/20096
7For the Sake of the Child10/19/20095
7Give Me Your Thumb11/02/2009 1:00 amFoxUSA6
7Untainted by Filth11/09/2009 1:30 amFoxUSA10
7Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.11/16/20096
7Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair11/23/20094
That's Why They Call It Ball Room12/07/20099
7Warning, It's Dirty12/14/20098
7Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste01/11/20106
7Yay, No Polyps01/18/20105
7Crude and Uncalled For02/01/20105
Aye, Aye, Captain02/08/20105
7Tinkle Like a Princess03/01/20109
7I Found Your Moustache03/08/20107
7Ixnay on the Oggie Day03/22/20106
7Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave04/12/20107
7I Called Him Magoo05/10/20105
7Gumby with a Pokey05/17/201017
7This Is Not Gonna End Well05/24/20106
8Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud09/20/20108
8A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer09/27/20107
8A Pudding-Filled Cactus10/04/20107
8Hookers, Hookers, Hookers10/11/20108
8The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel10/18/20107
8Twanging Your Magic Clanger10/25/20105
8The Crazy Bitch Gazette11/01/20108
8Springtime on a Stick11/08/20106
8A Good Time in Central Africa11/15/20107
8Ow, Ow, Don't Stop11/22/20108
8Dead from the Waist Down12/06/20109
8Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead12/13/20108
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup01/03/20118
Lookin' for Japanese Subs01/17/20114
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak02/07/20118
8That Darn Priest02/14/20116
9Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt09/19/2011 8:30 pmITV221
9People Who Love Peepholes09/26/201112:45 amITV27
9Big Girls Don't Throw Food10/03/2011 8:30 pmITV27
9Nine Magic Fingers10/10/2011 8:00 pmITV29
9A Giant Cat Holding a Churro10/17/2011 8:30 pmITV26
9The Squat and the Hover10/24/201112:45 amITV27
9Those Fancy Japanese Toilets10/31/2011 1:20 amITV26
9Thank You for the Intercourse11/07/2011 1:30 amITV210
9Frodo's Headshots11/14/2011 1:55 amITV210
9A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes11/21/201112:55 amITV27
9What a Lovely Landing Strip12/05/2011USA8
9One False Move, Zimbabwe!12/12/20119
9Slowly and in a Circular Fashion01/02/201212:45 amITV2
9A Possum on Chemo01/16/2012 8:30 pmITV2
9The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack02/06/2012 8:00 pmITV2
9Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy02/13/2012 8:30 pmITV2
9Not in My Mouth!02/20/2012USA
9The War Against Gingivitis02/27/2012USA
9Palmdale, Ech03/19/2012USA
9Grandma's Pie04/09/2012USA
9Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'04/16/2012
9Why We Gave Up Women04/30/2012USA
9The Straw in My Donut Hole05/07/2012USA
9Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!05/14/2012USA
10I Changed My Mind About the Milk09/27/2012
10A Big Bag of Dog10/04/2012
10Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt10/11/2012
10You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For10/18/2012
10That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam10/25/2012
10Ferrets, Attack!11/01/2012
10Avoid the Chinese Mustard11/08/2012
10Something My Gynecologist Said11/15/2012
10I Scream When I Pee11/29/2012
10One Nut Johnson12/06/2012
10Give Santa a Tail-Hole12/13/2012
10Welcome to Alancrest01/03/2013 1:00 amFoxUSA
10Grab a Feather and Get in Line01/10/2013 1:00 amFoxUSA
10Run, Steven Staven! Run!01/31/2013
10Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It02/07/2013
10Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby02/14/2013
10Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries02/21/2013
10The 9:04 from Pemberton03/07/2013
10Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon03/14/2013
10Bazinga! That's From a TV Show04/04/2013
10Another Night with Neil Diamond04/25/2013
10My Bodacious Vidalia05/02/2013
10Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped05/09/2013
11Nangnangnangnang09/26/2013 9:30 pmCBSUSA3
11I Think I Banged Lucille Ball10/03/2013